Reply to When to tell kids about remarriage plans?

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Reply to "When to tell kids about remarriage plans?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If there is no compelling reason to get married now then please wait.  You are in love and you believe that all things will work out and be good, that's how we operate when we are madly in love.  That notion is fine when it's just the 2 of you but the dynamics of step siblings and step parents is one of the most difficult dynamics to live with.  When the failure rate is that high (67%) please remember that the percentage who stay together are not necessarily happy either, they just might not want to put the kids through a second divorce.

It's not about siblings fighting, it's about fierce loyalty that each of you will have for your own child and how that loyalty will divide the two of you in ways you cannot imagine.  Throw two exes into the mix and you will begin to see why being in love with each other is only one small piece of making a blended family successful.

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I agree with you, I have decided to wait at least an additional year to see how things go. The loyalty thing is my biggest concern, I do worry that it will tear us apart if we are not really aware all the time of the dynamics.[/quote]

I'm glad that you heard me.  There will be some that will troll to say nasty things because it's "fun" and there are those who will tell you what we know because we have lived it.  Being in love, strong sexual connection, these things are powerful.  But when you have 2 parents who will always see things through the eyes of their own child, and have exes who will be pressuring them to do just that, it's a very different experience.  Good luck to you!
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