Reply to Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP, can you try to take even a little pleasure in the fact that he seems to enjoy his job and feels there is value in what he does--value beyond income?

If I'm reading your post right, he likes his government job because he feels he's doing something good and he has autonomy doing it. Can you, yourself, find something in his job, his work ethic, his being on "the good side" as you put it, that is worth your being proud of him? The post focuses solely on your expectations of having a certain income and house by a certain point in your marriage, and doesn't indicate what you think of the actual work he does day to day in his job. If he does something that he considers worthwhile and a contribution to whatever his agency's mission is....Do you think you could sit down and examine why you cannot find that admirable?

Maybe it's better to have a spouse who is fulfilled in his job, and live with him and your kids in an apartment, rather than a spouse who is miserable, or just bored and in a rut, but brings home the bacon to a big house he doesn't see much because he's working so many hours.

If you truly cannot find any pride or interest in his work, maybe you need some couples counseling where you tell him what you told us, because he needs to know that you are resenting him every day. And you need to look at whether your own focus and expectations are out of whack. Or you can go on posting anonymously and getting more resentful until one day you are posting about how you are going to leave him but you won't make enough with your own salary and child support payments to afford a house.

Please start communicating with him, and think about why you're unable to be pleased that the person you love is a job he likes and wants.[/quote]

This is a remarkably insightful and kind post. An unusual nugget of sanity.[/quote]

NP here with same reaction. Bravo, PP.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics