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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It might help if you saw your feelings as within the range of normal--because they are!

It might help if you backed off a little. Let DH handle a visit or two. He could take the baby while you did something with your older kids for instance. If you are doing the work of arranging visits or planning hosting, ask DH to do it.

It honestly sounds like the biggest problem is that they are asking a lot more of you just when you are extra taxed with a. Ew baby.[/quote]

Thank you. I think this is really helpful. The thing is, if left things up to DH, no plans would ever get made, and his parents would not be responded to nearly as much, and the ILs would have way less time and attention. I really do take on a lot of family stuff for DH, and maybe that's the source of some of this resentment.

I know that relationship with grandparents is good and valuable, especially for the older kid.

As for the baby and the grandparents, I kind of feel like a baby-dispensing machine. Like, it's my baby, you want my baby, and fine, I'll dole out some baby for you. Are you happy now?

[/quote]

I think the fact that you are doing all the work of maintaining the relationship is the issue.  Maybe talk to your husband about that and if he's not willing to step it up - relax and do a little less - especially with a new baby around.   I have fine relationships with my parents and ILs but I find the older they get the more self-centered they are and with kids, job, husband - I just find myself not wanting to cater to them.  [/quote]

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