Reply to Am I required to maintain my children's relationship with their father's parents?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Am I required to maintain my children's relationship with their father's parents?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a big believer in taking responsibility for what you're supposed to do.  In this case, it's the responsibility of you ex to foster the relationship between his kids and his parents.

If he's out of town and your exILs call you to set up plans with their grandkids, don't block it.  But I would also treat it as I would any other playdate.  What are the logistics?  Who is picking up and dropping off?  Where and what time?[/quote]

NP. It sounds like they're still married. However, I still think it's the husband's responsibility to coordinate with his parents.[/quote]
We ARE still married. I don't block it if it works for me when they ask. His weekend for instance, they want to visit the kids. I'm exhausted and tired from multiple things - busy week.. I said no, doesn't work. They think I'm being selfish, my husband inks I'm being difficult. He won't be back until Tuesday. I don't want to do anything this weekend, especially visit with inlaws without my husband. I guess the play date comparison is accurate.[/quote]

Drama queen.  Poor you.  You're tired.  The rest of humanity also works and are tired on weekends and evenings BUT most of us know it is important to maintain a relationship with both sets of grandparents.  You sound like a PITA princess.[/quote]
Oh please. OP is basically a single mother while her husband is away, dealing with kids and some sort of issues, as mentioned. She's allowed to be tired. I'm guessing you have a husband at home? Or are you just Super Single Mom? You never get tired? And you plan your weekends around your husbands or ex husbands parents? Riiight...[/quote]

NP here (not the one who posted above).  Actually my DH works a lot of hours and a lot of weekends and travels regularly, and I facilitate our DCs' relationships with my ILs.  I make sure we FaceTime with them 2-3 times each week (he is not home during these times, he is still at work and won't get home until after kids get to bed), I nag my husband to invite my ILs to stay, and when my ILs visit I spend most of my time visiting with them and the kids while he works.  I don't really enjoy it (and sometimes really hate it) when they visit because I don't have much in common with them and it disrupts our entire routine when they visit, but I make an effort to make them feel welcome in our home.

I do this because I see how much my kids get out of having a meaningful relationship with their grandparents - not just saying "that's my Grandma/pa" but feeling a real connection and sense of history with her/him.  My kids benefit from my effort.  Yes, my ILs also benefit, but I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for my kids.

OP needs to stop focusing on herself and how it inconveniences her to see her ILs, and focus on how that is a special relationship for her kids, and there is a limited window in which her kid can develop that relationship.

And yes, I do plan my weekends around seeing my parents now that I have kids - each weekend I take my kids to go visit my folks for 2-3 hours, and it is an hour drive each way. I usually go every Sunday afternoon, but if one DC has an event or something else, I make plans for another time.

You show by example the value that family has to you, and what it should mean to your kids.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics