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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "DH and I constantly fighting over child care - how do you do it?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again -- maybe my DH (or life) is different from many here? DH works in the city and has happy hours/work dinners about twice a week -- I don't have that kind of job, and I don't work in the city. I also get up with DS 4 mornings a week so DH can train for a bike race in the mornings. We both come home (when he's not out) for evenings with DS. If it's "my" turn, he'll go downstairs and watch TV, while I put DS to bed and cook us dinner. If it's "his" turn, I'll just start cooking. On the weekends, he bikes each day for several hours, and then often hangs out with the biking guys at a bar for a couple hours before coming home. I'm home alone for most weekend days, and then we have friends come over at night. Is this so unusual?[/quote] OP this is kinda sad. It sounds like you and DH are very different people and that you are not that engaged with each other. That he goes and watches tv rather than playing with the baby or helping is troubling. I think that you really do need to get to counselling. You both have issues with fairness, but it's connection, intimacy and feeling like a priority, for you or DS that are missing from DH's schedule. The bike thing is a bad idea with such a young baby. If he is out socializing for work 2 nights per week and commutes, that is his free time, plus maybe every other weekend a few hours. He should WANT to be hanging with you guys, you can't force him into it. Not sure if it's jus incompatibility, immaturity, intimacy issues or what but you can't just let this go on. How were things before the baby? How long have you been married? Do you have friends with babies? That helps. Best wishes.[/quote]
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