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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "DH and I constantly fighting over child care - how do you do it?"
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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think you're wrong to want fairness and to ensure that you don't wind up with the brunt of the childcare, but I also don't think your DH is wrong to say the current system isn't working for him and he wants a set up with more flexibility. One suggestion - instead of a schedule of 'time', how about just keeping track of your free time and making sure that evens out? And to start, I would just track TRUE free time - i.e. if one of you is on childcare, but the other is running errands, taking care of taxes / bills, doing housework, that's not truly 'free' time. You may still need to discuss the actual division of labor at one point, but I think that's a different issue then ensuring the decreased amount of true free time is evenly distributed between partners. And I would also try to be generous. You say DH is more social, so if he wants to go out with friends after DS in in bed and you're at home doing your own thing, I wouldn't count that in the time tally since it's not really extra work for you if you want to be at home anyway. However, if you're in a period where DS is waking frequently and your time at home is stressful with lots of settling, then that would of course count.[/quote]
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