Reply to Which of the top privates has the nicest kids in lower school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went to one and the kids were pretty mean oh so long ago ... is there one with a reputation for kids who are just nicer and less social climbing?  I'm totally fine if that means they are nerdier/geekier or something - I recognize this may.m be a true fantasy...[/quote]

Nerdier/geekier does not translate to kinder/nicer. I wouldn't use that as your barometer.[/quote]

It usually does, in my experience![/quote]

This is my experience too. But I was a nerd in the 1980s. The 1980s was a bad age to be nerd. (But we won in the end!  :P )[/quote]

If you are basing this on your own experience, you are likely idealizing/minimizing what happened by the needs to others because that was your tribe. It's a pretty common psychological reaction; people want to be the hero of their own narrative. If you talk with educators who work on bullying issues, most will tell you it's as prevalent in the nerdy/geeky crowd as compared to other crowds. The form may be different (more online/computer harrassment, less physical altercations) but I think you are being naive if you think nerdy/geeky is a straightforward proxy for kindness.

[/quote]

I never said it was a straight-forward proxy. You are adding to my statement. I am merely saying that in the time / location where I grew up, the nerds were on the fringes and knew it. They were not the ones who devised means of humiliating other children in front of the entire class or engineering their exclusion. We knew better than to invite that kind of attention, not necessarily because we were inherently super-kind, but because it made no strategic sense to play a game you will not win.

Also, being separate from the "cool" crowd leaves room for appreciating a certain amount of quirkiness in other people. And since the nerds of my generation often got bullied a little bit, we usually had some sympathy for underdogs.[/quote]

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