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[quote=pbraverman][quote=Anonymous]I went to one and the kids were pretty mean oh so long ago ... is there one with a reputation for kids who are just nicer and less social climbing?  I'm totally fine if that means they are nerdier/geekier or something - I recognize this may.m be a true fantasy...[/quote]

Regarding normal hurt feelings, not horrific bullying: All schools have some random meanness. It's part of growing up, and while it's unfortunate, it helps kids to build resilience and skills to resolve conflict. As I once said to a parent, "They don't do it because they are terrible kids, or because their parents are awful, or because the teachers don't care. They do it because they're 11." (The parent replied, "But Jenny is 12." I realized I had not made the point I intended to make. LOL.)

If kindness is very high on your list of values, I'd suggest looking at schools where kindness is reinforced on a daily basis as a part of the curriculum, in every class, beginning at the earliest grades. The schools that sponsor Kindness Day or Be Nice to Everybody Week are, in my experience, not as likely to be focused on it, and kids understand innately that such an approach is a bandage on a problem rather than an actual commitment to a particular value. If the seventh grade math teacher glosses over a cry of "That's so gay!" because he has a lot of material to cover, that would be a red flag to me.

Peter
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Disclaimer: The anonymity here makes me uncomfortable; it's easy to be uninformed, personal, or simply mean-spirited if people don't identify themselves. For that reason, I have an account so you know whose words you're reading. I have more than 20 years' experience as a teacher and administrator in independent schools, and I have counseled hundreds of students in finding their next schools. I hope I can be helpful to some folks. If you don't like something I've said, you're in good company — there's a long line of past students and parents ahead of you. :) If you want to chat further, please feel free to contact me offline: peter &lt;at&gt; arcpd &lt;dot&gt; com[/quote]

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