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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OMG are you kidding me?  how about kids growing up and realize they are not going to get invited to everything and the parents telling them that that is life not some situation that requires some other 13 year old who wants his or her party favors to be a shirt to change their plans because some oversensitive kid who he doesn't even know.  [/quote]

It's fine not to invite everyone. It is obnoxious to give out t-shirts and other things that rub it in people's faces. It also just sets the seeds for narcissism. No kid needs all his friends to have a t-shirt bragging they went to his bar mitzvah. If he's Barak Obama, then give out the t-shirts Obama earned the recognition. Having your parents spend thousands to celebrate your birthday in a ceremony that in Jewish tradition is supposed to be MODEST, is too much. It used to be about celebrating manhood not making a kid feel like a celebrity. Part of teaching our kids values is to have them THINK about other people's feelings. [/quote]

I grew up on Long Island in the 80's where it was very common to have 200-300 people at these events, where people rented a yacht for the afternoon into the evening, where kids regularly wore bar/bat mitzvah t-shirts.

It's really no big deal. Kids wore them under their Champion sweatshirts, we wore them when we needed a t-shirt for gym, whatever. We all grew up around this. I'm not a narcissist. It's not rubbing it in other kids faces. By that token nobody should let their teen have an iPhone or Adidas sneakers or anything that any other kid may feel bad about not having. My kid is poor. She gets some things and not others. Yes, a girl at her school travels to different countries during every single school break. But that girl is socially immature and isn't allowed to be in the classroom during s*x ed each year. She's not allowed to go anywhere without her mother. [/quote]

My cousins grew up on Long Island. We are Jewish. They were repulsed by this sort of thing and it contributed to the whole "JAP" stereotype. Just because you are fine, doesn't mean it's a great idea to spend a quarter of a million dollars to impress friends and make a child feel like royalty for being born. There is a difference between kids wearing Adidas and wearing a shirt that reminds others they were not invited. First off, I have bought my kid plenty of Adidas stuff second hand for less than $10. Also, this is about a social exclusion. Perhaps growing up around over the top displays of wealth you didn't learn about the effects of social exclusion and the importance of teaching kids empathy. Nobody said don't have these parties. The message is no need to rub it in other people's faces that they were not invited. It's obnoxious and self-absorbed. Same with posting photos. You can post those privately. There are settings.[/quote]

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