Reply to Controlling behavior in a DH due to extreme introversion and anxiety rather than "machismo"

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Controlling behavior in a DH due to extreme introversion and anxiety rather than "machismo""

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have a habit of talking for him or talking over him?

His delivery could be better, but if he is constantly telling you he's already done something perhaps you  aren't paying attention.

I'm  a shy person and there is a tendency for outgoing partners and family members to think they have to compensate for us and in many cases either talk for us, over us, or they are so busy thinking that they have to cover for us they miss what we have already said.

He  probably needs help with his anxiety, but  you both could benefit on how to communicate better.

Also that director was out of line.[/quote]

I agree with this perspective. I hate when people talk over me. It makes me shut down rather than lash out, but when someone repeats what I just said, it shows me they weren't listening and don't value what I said, or that they're assuming I didn't do it well enough so they had to do it again/better.

I also can't help but wonder if you were embarrassed and are thinking the worst about how other people are perceiving the interaction. People probably responded to your reaction as much as they were to your husband's comment.

At any rate, no, he doesn't sound abusive. I don't think he sounds particularly controlling either. If he has anxiety he needs to learn to deal with it better, but you not listening to him probably feeds it. [/quote]

Perhaps I didn't explain the scenario.

We were sitting around a table and had been tasked with each introducing ourselves in turn and saying a few words.  We were going around the table. It was my turn to introduce myself.  I said something like "My name is Larla Jones and I'm the mother of Larlo who is in fifth grade."

I had no intention of "talking over him" and I did not repeat what he had said.  You have misconstrued the situation and I think you are projecting.  He cut me off abruptly and the entire group was taken aback.[/quote]

I understood the scenario perfectly the first time you described it in your OP. I simply don't agree with your perspective that he's abusive and controlling, and was offering additional insight to his behavior.

Based on your response, and your tone, to people not cosigning your beliefs,  but still trying to offer helpful advice,  I think there are deep issues at play, with how you treat people. I  bet your husband would paint a very different picture of the evening , your relationship, and how you communicate.  If you want your marriage to thrive I suggest counseling for the two of you to learn how to communicate better with each other, and he can have individual counseling for his social anxiety and how to manage that.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics