Reply to Should I think about divorce?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Should I think about divorce?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a SAHM who is like your DH.  Until 3 months ago I yelled at the kids regularly.  I've been in therapy and can tell you that the decision to change has to come from inside.  If he does not think it's a big deal a thousand therapists' comments will have no effect. Daughter has actually asked me, "Why are black people so angry all the time?"  For me rage outbursts are a reaction to a profound sense of powerlessness and displacement.  The struggle with anxiety and depression never ends.  I agree with PP that if life is livable 75 percent of the time you should definitely give it another shot.  [/quote]

Could you please let us know what has helped you to stop yelling? Why did you yell at them and how do you make yourself stop? I am the DW PP who yells, and I would love to stop yelling.. Advice? Tips?[/quote]

NP who had the same issue. For me it was revisiting childhood experiences and what my parents reactions and expectations were. Plus eliminating the stress of a bad marriage.

Looking at the situations helps. Sometimes situation A would happen and I would lose it. Sometimes situation A would happen and I could address it calmly and in control.  So looking at the differences in what led up to my reaction (what was I thinking about or dealing with that day) helped isolate reasons why I might lose it.

For me, my parents favored my brother and expected me to be quiet and docile. So when my dd overly expresses herself or gets hyper it triggers something in me from how I used to feel.

Do you do it more with one child... do they have a personality trait that you have negative experiences with. Asking yourself what are your fears in the situation can help.

Also knowing what  other factors escalate you quickly. Mine is definitely noise. Like if I'm under pressure, cooking dinner and the range hood fan is on and the kids start fighting = lose it. Try to eliminate triggers. Does it happen in public more = are you over concerned what people think.

Building in relaxation exercises for everyone can help too. When you do yell be aware and ask kids for a redo.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics