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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My fiance and I are supposed to get married in May. Originally we were going to get married next month, but we rescheduled the date because my fiance wanted to do it when it's warmer so the reception can be outdoors. Well now he's asking if we can put the wedding off until sometime next year. I asked him why and he told me because his family doesn't want him to marry me and some have threatened not to come to the wedding. They feel that we're rushing into it (we've been dating for three years) and because I have a child. I'm concerned that if he's letting his family control his actions over the wedding who know what else they'll try to control in his life. I'm wondering if I should call the whole thing off and let him grow up a bit. I've been down this road before and I don't want to set myself up for another failed marriage. [/quote]

I'm really sorry.  I think your concerns are quite valid.  How will waiting another year make things better for his family - and this wedding isn't about them, it's about the two of you.  That he's willing to let his family dictate his marriage choices doesn't bode well for you.  And, I'd be suspect of his reason to postpone it the first time.

I believe you should break things off.  You and your DC deserve better.  Hugs.[/quote]

I believe the initial part of this response is solid advice and close to the words you use when you talk to him next. I would talk to him first but I would not change the date. [b]Only you can know if the family issues will be too much to overcome.[/b][/quote]

I know this isn't fair, but family issues caused problems in my first marriage and I've always feared that it could happen again. I know I shouldn't make him pay for something that happened to me in the past, but it's a genuine concern. [/quote]

There's a difference between learning from past mistakes (ignoring red flags about family) and making a future partner pay for past mistakes (inventing red flags that don't exist).  He TOLD you his family doesn't like you and wants to postpone the wedding because of that.  What did he propose to DO ABOUT THAT?  Nothing?  Just wait for them to come around?  Those are all giant red flags waving, that you past experience is telling you to pay attention to.[/quote]

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