Reply to Getting remarried and having another child when you have a tween/teen

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[quote=Anonymous]So depends on the kid.   I had two children when I divorced.  Got into a serious relationship with a divorced man with two kids.  We were together a few years, great relationship but had not married or moved in together.  We were about to take steps to move in and blend families when I discovered I was pregnant.  Big surprise (I had an IUD in PLUS he had had a vasectomy 2 years earlier).

We never would have purposefully conceived, and there have been tough moments, but DD is 6 now.  DH's oldest just went to college this fall.  We were worried most about how she would take it (she was 12 when baby was born).  There were times during infancy when she probably resented all the attention baby got, but she also enjoyed her sister a lot.  We made sure DH could still spend one on one time with her sometimes, I did, too, we just made big efforts to do that.

So now we have 4 at home -- DH's 16 year old DS, my first two kids, now 13 and 10.  I'd say the hardest part by far is that my kids feel torn when they transition to their dad (my ex).  When they were younger, theyd' complain that baby DD didn't have to go anywhere, why did they.

Never did I think I'd be parenting 5 kids, including 3 of my own blood--but overall it's been wonderful.  Majority of issues would have happened in any family of 5 kids.  The twist was a year or so when my kids had harder transitions than normal to their dad.  Things are calmer now.

Unplanned, but our DD is a treasure and it was a great bonding experience with my "new" DH.  In so many ways my first marriage fell apart due to issues uncovered by having kids (including division of labor), but DH and I are such a team, it's been such a pleasure.[/quote]

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