Reply to meant-to-be-kind words that hurt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You could be offended.

Or you could take a step back, realize that she isn't flying under the radar as you wanted and believed, that your DD while in school interacting with peers might be struggling more than you realized and you need to think if your current strategies are working and/ or if more or different interventions are needed.
[/quote]

New person here.  My child doesn't fly under the radar at all -- disabilities are open and obvious.  But I would be taken aback too, for many of the reasons expressed.  When I ask a teacher how my child is doing in her class, I'm asking about my child, and about the classwork.  I'm not asking about inclusion, social life, or the other kids' reaction to my child.  If I want to know about those things, I ask specific questions.  If a teacher responds first on those topics, that's a very strong indication that my child is not a student in her class doing art/music/math/whatever, my child is a "SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD."  It's not a question of wanting a child to fly under the radar.  Whether a child is severely disabled or mildly affected, a teacher is there to teach.  A parent has a right to hear how a child is doing in a class.

If you ask how your ordinary/typical child is doing in a class, and the first response is "Well, Larlo is well-liked by the other children and he is included in all the group activities," I think your radar would know something was off.  Either you are being shined on about his academic performance, which is what you were actually asking about, or you would wonder what was going on in that teachers' mind that this response was primary feedback for her.  Special needs moms are no different.[/quote]

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