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[quote=Anonymous]Divorced mine after 9 years, 3 job losses, and long periods of unemployment in between. But he wouldn't even acknowledge that there was a problem to be addressed, so we didn't even get to the point of trying meds or coaches or anything else. Plus, he was crazy resentful that I could do things more easily, so instead of ceding control to me of some things, and being grateful that I handled a lot, he would fight me on countless silly things and became very angry towards me.

So my rule now is that I will never have a relationship with someone with ADHD, because I'm far too burned out.

But if I were in a marriage with someone willing to acknowledge it, I would insist on:

-Meds, and regular check-ins with a psychiatrist that you get to attend too, so you can provide your perspective
-regular use of an ADHD coach
-agreement and near 100% compliance with whatever the coach suggests for managing things on the home front
-agreement to immediately work with a coach if any issues come up at work that threaten employment, raises or promotion
-being 100% responsible for his disease, at all times. That means no anger expressed towards you, full acceptance of the disease, agreement that he will see a marriage counselor or personal therapists if difficult issues between you come up, understanding of the impact of his disease on you and the family, etc.

In other words, I think you need to take a hard ass approach, and he needs to put 110% into doing everything that needs to be done to deal with the disease, or a marriage just isn't going to work.
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