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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I have been driving her to stores. This is her first visit to me in eight years and I ask what she wants to do, but I told her last night that we need to stop shopping as going into stores encourages me to buy things I don't need (true). She agreed, so we will see.
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I'd just stay at home today. Don't even get the car to go anywhere. She'll figure out how to buy something. Instead:
Go for walks. Do a craft together. Watch a movie on Netflix together. Cook a big meal together. There are so many things you can without getting in the car.[/quote]

My thought too. Distract and redirect: Keep her busy and focused on things that are not shopping. She sounds as if she cannot come up with any other activity for the two of you other than shopping, so you'll need to be the sister who suggests and basically keep her very busy. All of the above activities are great, as is playing a board game if you're both into that. Any chance that a trip to a nearby historic site or museum would be distracting, or would she mostly be interested in hitting the museum store?

I note that it's been a long time since she has stayed with you, so I can see how you might feel a bit reluctant to be frank with her about her obvious problem, OP. Is there any good way you can bring up, "I know you have a lot of things at home and am just wondering if you buy things just to have something to do, or because it makes you feel good, rather than because you want or need the things....Can we talk about that?" or something along those lines? Maybe not, but it's a good start that she was willing to lay off shopping when you said you wanted to stop.

Do not watch stuff with commercials in it, and don't let her see any QVC etc. I'm not trying to joke -- really, don't let commercials or TV shopping become a substitute. Or online shopping; if she disappears or is suddenly in another room or on her phone a lot, nip that by cheerily saying, "OK! Time to cook that great meal we're planning!" and getting her offline.

OP, maybe you can use the remaining time to bond more with her, get more relaxed together, and come to a position where you will be able to be open with her about the fact she seems to have a problem and needs to get help. If she does not live anywhere nearby, you will have a hard time helping her follow up by going to find a therapist, but if you can help her do that somehow--kudos to you, sister.[/quote]

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