Reply to DH Xmas gifts to stepkids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is DH competitive with his ExW about gift giving?[/quote]

No, he's a Disneyland Dad bc he doesn't see kids that much so assuaged guilt with spendy gifts. If they break something pricey, they wait until Birthday or Xmas to ask for a replacement. [/quote]

Oh boy.  I don't know if a rational thing like having a family budget is really going to solve an emotional problem, aka guilt.  With the budget,would he let you shop for the gifts once you agreed on the items/budget to remove the temptation of him going over budget?  Could you convince him the money not used on expensive electronics (for himself or others) could be put towards something like a nice family vacation with the stepkids or for them to come out to visit longer/an extra visit?  He may do better with controlling the impulse if he knew it was at the expense of being able to do something that could  benefit the kids like taking a nice vacation with the kids.  Also, unless he sees that he is doing a disservice in the long run by giving the stepchild that isn't responsible multiple phones, it will be hard to overcome the guilt.  Is he working on money management/budgeting with any of the kids?  Maybe he would want to set an example if he is teaching them about it and he would want to walk the walk more.

As for the 11 year old with a brand new phone, I don't think you are winning that one.  This may be the one and only time my child has gotten the latest/nicest gadget than us but we ended up spending the $240 for iPhone SE for our 12 year old.  Neither of us really wanted to upgrade our phone AND there aren't the deals there used to be for iPhones with Verizon.  I debated getting a cheaper phone like a Samsung, but DH pointed out since we had Apple for everything else and wanted to monitor text etc, it would be easier staying with the Apple family.  My child is among the last of the girls to get a phone in her grade and everyone has 1001 reasons to justify it like if child has to take bus somewhere or to reach other parent when needed etc.  So this is to say that unfortunately I can see how he ended up spending so much on the phone if he felt like he should give new over refurbished and wanted to stay with Apple and for whatever reason wasn't spending time monitoring/finding what few deals there were out there.[/quote]

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