Reply to People I didn't expect to put my kid into a 1-dimensional DISABLED category

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Reply to "People I didn't expect to put my kid into a 1-dimensional DISABLED category"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do agree with many PPs that not to let these comments be hurtful.  People are trying to help by sharing information b/c they struggled so long [b]they don't want someone to miss out on something they learned.[/b]

[b]In terms of your family, try to have a quiet one-on-one conversation with people you feel just don't get it.   It seems more a reflection of trying to be accepting and understanding.[/b]  [b]They aren't the expert on your kid you are[/b], and you can share your thoughts in a non-defensive way.  They may not "get it" but they sound like they'd be open to learning.

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I know you too mean well, but the type of people who behave after a quiet sitdown chat are usually not the issue.

Re: they aren't the expert on your kid, you are. Yes, exactly. It's like the person with 4 NT kids who thinks she is the expert on your NT so she offers unsolicited advice because she wants to bless you with all she has learned. She also tells you things about your kid she has noticed because again she is an expert. But she isn't and nobody asked. If they asked-they go for it! Otherwise, don't be surprised when Larla's mom buries herself in a book or takes pretend phone calls and walks out when you show up to the PT waiting room.

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Again, I wouldn't take things, especially casual acquaintances to seriously.  Most people just feel the need to chit chat b/c they're bored.  So change the subject, or nod politely and put your earphones in.  I think we've all met people like this and it can be annoying when you can't avoid them, but in the grand scheme of things--don't let her rent any more space in your head.  Water off a ducks back.

Comments that come from family members can be more hurtful to me personally.  Sometimes they're meant to be hurtful but mostly stem from ignorance.  They just don't get it.  If some family members really don't seem to get it, call them on it at that moment.  Look the person straight in the eye and calmly say, "Uncle Larlo, when you say X about my kid, I feel sad/annoyed/mad/frustrated."

Then just stay quiet and look at the person.  They'll probably back down and shut up or at least say they're sorry.[/quote]

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