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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just curious how open others are with friends, family and coworkers about your infertility struggles. I am a fairly private person and haven't said anything to anyone. Tonight I was at my book club holiday party and people were talking about kids and someone casually asked DH and I wanted to have kids. I kind of froze and basically said we aren't sure. I don't know why I said that vs a million other things.

I think the main reason I don't want to talk about it is because I don't want the sympathy and for people to constantly be wondering if I am pregnant yet or what exactly is going on.[/quote]

I would recommend to be non committal and only tell people on a 'need to know' or people you are very close to - and even among those people, I found many people who have not experienced infertility issues are clueless in their reactions and very judgmental (you never really know what you will or won't do until you don't have other options, so easy for others to 'judge') or they bring it up casually or regularly, which is often just making conversation to them (and they have no idea 'how' to talk about it in sensitive ways) when it's very big to you.  So, like, 'we're figuring it out' type comments.  No one else is really that invested in it other than your family and friends who are looking for people on the same path/timing for friends-with-kids.

I was never able to have children in a 'normal' way - and still get 'judged' for going to extremes to have kids even now that my kids are well into elementary schools by some when it comes up.

The only people I ever really 'bond' with on the issue are those who have had some major loss(es) also -- and some of that is at an unspoken level.[/quote]

OP - I think, in general, if you have to ask this question, you probably are not a good candidate for sharing.

I can't keep a secret, so I told many people about what I was going through.  I wasn't open to the degree of "see my embryo photo on FB" but people who were in my life on a regular basis (colleagues, friends, family) all knew.  It worked for me because of my inability to hold things in and because I wanted people to tread carefully on the "kids" topic.  Unlike the PP, I found almost everyone to be very accepting and not judgmental in the slightest.  But a lot of that may depend on your social circle and how common infertility is amongst people you see daily.  About a third to half my female colleagues had to go through and quite a few girlfriends from outside work.  [/quote]

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