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Reply to "Dealing with Your Exhausting Elderly Parent"
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[quote=Anonymous]This martyr routine is about getting attention. My MIL does it ALL the time, and she's really overbearing, forbidding people to do things, grabbing things from their hands, and just taking over. Over the years I've learned to do the one thing that makes her crazy: I totally ignore her complaints, her martyr moves, etc. I figure, if you really want to do something, I'm going to tune you out while you moan about it. There is no button she can push with me. You've got to work on that for yourself, if you can. First, you remember boundaries. If she chooses to do something and then complains, it's HER problem, not yours. Second, tune it out. Third, ignore so she gets no reward (attention) for that particular behavior.[/quote]
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