Reply to Van Lifer couple camping in Utah national park - two weeks later fiancee arrives in FL alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
He would have been booked and maybe spent a night in jail. That maybe would have changed the outcome based on emergency protective order, but those are only worth the paper they’re written on especially when two people are living in a van away from most of their associates and can generally get back together without much oversight from any other party. These situations are really complex. I do wish it was different but generally even being booked on DV charges (esp first time misdemeanor) rarely alters the trajectory of these relationships.

Again I do really wish it was different. But I think there’s not as much enforcement as people think on these kind of charges. Even if it did make it to court one way or another. They need cooperation to some extent from the victim, but the victim is in a position where that’s hard or unsafe or impossible to do at the time. And sometimes it is even more dangerous in a sense to leave someone with those behaviors feeling like they have nothing left, since they’re not going to get a life sentence. Even as the family there is only so much you can do. You yourself are also in danger, being lied to and misled. Trust me, I have sadly been through this. I have a sibling who survived an attempted DV murder. My sibling did eventually escape, but it was not a linear process at all and protective orders were violated (even when a judge refused to remove the protective order as requested). We had a woman in the DC area who was killed this past year when her attacker was released from jail pending charges. And that was in a rare case where a judge actually approved holding someone for a period of time, but then allowed their release because the trial was delayed. In VA with charges like BL would have faced based on that body cam, the court process can be dropped by settling “restitution” with the victim and cases are often settled/dropped this way. [/quote]

And I should specify that full cooperation is not always required based on the evidence or offense level (example in my post of judge refusing a request to remove protective order). But I mean at some level it is obviously required, whether that is calling 911 to report or giving testimony that can satisfy the charging elements. And doing this puts victims in an extremely hard spot. They are often looking at a case that will result in little or no time in custody for the offender, but would suffer retribution. Besides the fact that they are being gaslit and in a position where they lie to family and friends. Trust me I used to think why don’t people just do X, Y, or Z. Why don’t they just go get their family member? Then I lived through this situation. [/quote]

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