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[quote=shan1212][quote=Anonymous]Do you think the Chunky Monkeys (and Celeste Ng in particular) knew the discovery documents were publicly accessible? I mean, they must have known how terrible they'd look, right?[/quote]

Well who's to know, of course, but my guess is that the same foibles that led Larson to make so many poor choices here would translate into her not having the guts to tell her friends that their emails were now part of a court case. You'd think at least one of them would bothered to read them back in February or whenever they were submitted, and that would have caused a whole thing among the group. So then Becky Tuch wouldn't be saying, oh wow, I had no idea what the real story was now. But I'm making a lot of assumptions. Who knows. If she did tell them, I'm sure it was in a "OMG you guys will not believe what I had to do because of this crazy stalker lady" way.

I'm not a lawyer and I haven't really understood the debate that's going on here, but I have previously mentioned my desire not to dehumanize anyone (I'm the one with the school board story). I try so hard in my daily life not to hate even people who really caused a lot of harm directly to me (thinking of something I'm not willing to share here that was a personal trauma). So that makes me curious about how wrapped up in this case I am. We primates bond in certain ways, and we enforce social mores in certain ways. I don't want to get sucked into some kind of instinct to run off the bonobo that the pack leader doesn't like, or to be the pack leader, or whatnot.

What's refreshing about Dawn is her healthy relationship with her own trauma and shame. She didn't go to divinity school for nothing. When I see Celeste Ng posturing the way that she is, I think she's dealing with her own insecurities. I don't read her actions as malice and cruelty. I read her actions as a kid on the playground saying, "Nanny nanny boo boo, you can't hurt my feelings!" And that gives me a certain level of sympathy for her, which doesn't mitigate the harm she's caused (not least of all to the disabled and donor communities) but at least exists alongside it.

ETA: I also read Larson as deeply insecure. My oldest just started middle school and I'm trying to figure out how to teach her to stand up for herself while also understanding that hurt people hurt people. Today a pack of girls found her placing sticky notes with positive affirmations around the bathroom. They said, "What the f*ck is this sh*t?" and they tore down all her sticky notes and threw them in the trash. My kid hid in a stall until they left and then pulled them out of the trash. One of them came back in and caught her, and she stood her ground and said, "These are nice messages for people. Why aren't you happy for people to read nice things?" A big crowd gathered until the PE teacher intervened. Oh my word, these things are so hard. This pack of girls almost certainly comes from a public housing unit and have had very different experiences than my daughter. I want her to teach her that people's cruelty isn't about her -- it's about them. But also, I want her to stand up for herself, but not if it will get her beat up. All this is to say that hurt people hurt people, and they still deserve compassion. But you can feel that compassion over here on the other side of your firm boundary that doesn't allow them to harm you.[/quote]

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