Reply to Wife having mid-life crisis and not sure how to respond

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[quote=Anonymous]So much going on here. The PPs talking about showing a woman the back of your hand or "letting" your wife stay home are scary. I hope my daughter never runs across a man like this.

OP, there's a lot going on with you too. Your wife sounds shallow. What surprises me is that you're surprised. You say you don't care whether she works. That's a shallow relationship. Your wife's growth, ambition, and contributions aren't meaningful to you and it sounds like you two are on the same page about that -- which is why she's griping like a teenager with a zit on prom night. You both saw her as a pretty housewife and her status as that is now uncertain.

So please form an opinion.

My opinion- and I'm not married to you, so it's not too relevant-- is that she doesn't want a nanny or after care because she's afraid to find out that this is just as good as having her at home and her ten years out of the work force weren't 100% necessary. I'm not saying this is rational, but it's how an insecure person operates. And your wife is certainly insecure.

Since your compliments mean so little to her, try a little criticism: honey, you are complaining about shallow and unchangeable things. You could have whatever you want -- fulfillment through education, work, volunteering, or an avocation -- but m you seem to  want only to be told you're younger than you are. I've got a job, we've got kids, and this is a marriage. Be the other adult in the marriage already. You're being tiresome and self absorbed. Try to imagine someone else's needs.

See how she responds to being spoken to like an adult rather than a moody teenager. [/quote]

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