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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here: Look I really am not trying to attack her. She has done so much for my son. He's no longer a pot head because of her, she found him his current job when he was unhappy with his last, she took care of everything involved in buying their current house. He is in a very good place because of her and they both seem very happy together. I just don't get why she doesn't work. I'm also not the pp complaining about no grand kids, I already have grand kids through my other son. I don't understand why they don't want kids, but I'm not playing the I will never have grand kids card. I just don't want my son to support someone for the rest of his life.    [/quote]

Geez! She has done a lot for your son! Maybe they are just happy or can't have kids.

I'm a SAHM whose kid is in school. But I managed all kinds of things so my husband doesn't have to: landscaping plus mowing weekly, paying the bills, house cleaning, home repairs, washing the car, cooking all meals, washing the house once a year plus bargain shopping to stretch our money. If he was a single guy paying someone to do all of that? Forget it!

Plus, he says he likes knowing I'm at home taking care of things. Not everyone values things the same way.

She's a positive influence on his life. Not a lot of women would have taken on your son. I know I passed on unemployed potheads in seconds when I was single.

Be nice. [/quote]

You do realize that plenty of WOHMs also take care of all of the household stuff while holding down a full time job right?  Many SAHMs have posts like this that make it sound like the household couldn't possibly run if they worked. But for many WOHMs we outsource some of the SAHM work - like cleaning the house and babysitting the kids for a couple of hours after school until we get home -- and then take care of all of the rest of the stuff you listed nights/weekends and on days off.  [/quote]

Huh. That's odd- are you a single WOHM? If not- you are the first working mom who I've heard admit on DCUM that she doesn't have an equal partner around the house in her spouse. I hear this frequently from my WOHM's in real life- how they are working but still doing 100% of the housework- but on DCUM that makes you a unicorn. Every other WOHM has a husband who does 50% of the housework and childcare. Personally that sounds harrowing in addition to holding down a full time job.[/quote]

no - i've got a DH, but his hours are truly terrible so I handle 90% of the household stuff (including nearly 100% of the child-related stuff). so we are definitely not remotely equal in terms of household stuff/childcare, but he works more total hours than I do (if you count my paid job hours + my unpaid household work). i am the "default parent".  but that's a topic for another thread. i think the balance of household stuff may be more extreme in our case than many, but from what I can see of my friends/colleagues the "default parent" (which is usually but not always the DW), does at least 75% of the household stuff even while working a full time job.[/quote]

What's so great about working so that you can pay for after care, spend less time with your kids and spend nights and weekends doing most of the house work? [/quote]

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