Reply to New boyfriend, has a child he never sees.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband's ex was a witch and would not let him see his kids.  She refused to answer the phone when she called.  When he'd fly out to visit, she refused visits.  When we bought plane tickets she refused to send them.  He's a great dad and tried hard.

In your situation, I'd be concerned about having kids with him.  If it is on mom, its a bit different if all she wants is support. but if mom actually makes an effort to bring the child to visit every other year, that's a huge red flag.[/quote]

Your husband should go to court then.  But I'm sure you have excuses ...[/quote]

We did several times.  They judge ordered her to pay for the missed flights, she never did.  The judge would order more visitation time, we'd buy the tickets, she'd never send him.  My husband would call weekly, no one would answer the phone.  We'd go back to court and the judge would tell her to do better (cost of cross country flights, plus attorney).  Six months later, back to court and the same thing.  It was a joke, so we did give up.  The only time we hear from her or the kids is for money.  She was angry as she filed the first hearing and he countered for more visitation.  The judge removed alimony and two of the three kids from child support (over 18).  She was also upset as she decided that child support should be based off both of our incomes but refused to disclose her boyfriend's income who was paying her rent.

Why do you think its as simple as going to court?  There are a few great judges but most do nothing and all they care about is if child support is paid.  If child support is paid, but mom does nothing, they don't care.  If child support isn't paid, they throw the dad's in jail.  We have an office for child support but not a free office for parent for visitation... funny how it all works, and yet, dad is always at fault even if mom cheats, takes the kids and refuses to let dad see them.  (and yes, he even flew out with a court order and police to get the kid and the police refused to get involved)[/quote]

If the kids are over 18 and have nothing to do with him, that's your sign. I have a brother in law like this. Hates that his kids only called for money so he just dropped them totally. Well asshole, when you never see your kids and only send the money you have to, don't be surprised when they associate dad with money in terms of what he can provide you. It sure isn't love, stability, support. [/quote]

You are naive. Your husband probably wasn't much of a dad prior to the divorce. It sounds like at least two of the children where older when this was happening. If a teenaged child wants to see their parent they will. The same way they won't if they don't want too.
You H put on a good show for you and you bought it down to the witch ex story.
He tried 3 times to see his kids.. What  a fight![/quote]

Deadbeat dads always pull the "mom turned them against me and I tried but the kids don't want to see me" shit. Only a dummy buys it. [/quote]

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