Reply to Getting married in a month and I can't decide if I want to take his last name

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I kept my name.  No regrets.  My husband thought it was really weird that women changed their names in the first place, so it was not an issue.  For me, it was like-- this is my name.  It has been my name for 30 years.  Why would I change it?  I would have changed it if we both took a new last name, but I didn't see why I would change my name when he didn't.

Sometimes I think about having the same last name as my kids, but, meh.  It wouldn't make me feel any closer to them than I already do.  I don't care if I get called by their last name by people at school.  My kids aren't remotely confused, and it's never been a problem.  [/quote]

Let me ask you something PP.

When you got married, did you have a ceremony of any kind?  A big party?  Did you wear a fancy dress?  Was there a cake?  Was there any kind of ritualistic procedure other than just taking 10 minutes at City Hall to get hitched?

Did you have a gift registry?  Were there announcements?  Did you send invitations?

If you did any of those things, then you are just mired in that old patriarchal tradition anyway.   But go ahead pick and choose however arbitrarily you need to to tell yourself you make any sense.[/quote]

What?  What kind of black and white world do you live?  The world is full of color. Open your eyes.  People can choose to do different things for different reasons.  [/quote]

Right.  Selfish people pretend to be acting from priniciple but really aren't.  So women who claim to be acting from principle by not taking the husband's last name because it's a defunct patriarchal tradition show their rank hypocrisy by happily availing themselves of "traditional" bennies of getting married when it suits them.  That's why none of these posters make any sense at all.  They're petulant children who think they are proving something by keeping their own last name.  It has nothing to do with any principles unless they dispense with the traditions of weddings that are to their benefit--which is basically ALL of them, even for the most part getting married itself.   If you don't like tradition, don't get married.  Very simple.  Of course then you don't get the bennies of marriage, either.[/quote]

You are very angry about something that I do not think you know how you sound.  You are throwing out the baby with the bath water.  [/quote]

Awww, PP, did it just hit home that if a woman is going to be principled about eliminating the patriarchal defunct traditions of a marriage, that means she has to do without the "good stuff" as well as the traditions she doesn't like?   "But...but...but....if we don't do a traditional wedding....that means no expensive ring...no gifts....no big party making me the center of attention like a Disney Princess...no honeymoon....we go straight home from the justice of the peace and I have to fix the toilet [because #women can do ANYTHING men can do]?  No cake????"  LOL[/quote]

You need to relax and step away from the screen.  Go for a walk. [/quote]

pp makes a valid point.  [/quote].  Not really.  They have gone off the deep end. [/quote]

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