Reply to Husbands with SAHMs that prefer they work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've done both SAHM and WOHM.   I can assure you, when I'm in a SAHM mode I am doing lots of fun things for myself- exercise classes, tennis, hiking, meeting friends for coffee, meeting friends for lunch, etc...  I know that I'm taking care of the kids and household but I make a point of doing things that I like doing and not feeling guilty about it.[/quote]

Only if you were a stay at home with a nanny. Or your children are 12 and 14.  Because NO WAY.

Being a SAH parent is SO much harder than going to work. Especially when the kids are very little, like before school aged.

Yes, we can do fun things (hit the museums! go meet friends!) but you are always always ON and watching that toddler/infant/child. It is never YOU time. Unless, of course, you are a SAH with a nanny (and maybe a housekeeper). Which is fine. But for your average SAH parent ... no.[/quote]

If it's so much harder and you hate it so much and get a job. This is what kills me. It is a freaking choice and a luxury.[/quote]

People like you are so annoying. You set up an attack on sahms, they talk about their day and how it isn't always a gravy train and then you attack them for complaining!  Such circular ridiculousness! They wouldn't have complained if you hadn't attacked them!

-wohm[/quote]

I didn't.  I was a new poster.  Calm down, crazy![/quote]

Well then you're still responding out of context and are a jerk. [/quote]

Is SAH a choice for the vast majority, or not?[/quote]

I think it is a choice for more people than you think, particularly when the kids are young and daycare costs can easily approach 3k a month for multiple kids. I don't think most SAHM's in that situation are taking luxury vacations or driving a Lexus SUV but I do think they are working hard for their family. And I do think it is a legitimate choice. For some people having one parent devoted to raising their children is more important than having discretionary income. Just because that isn't a choice YOU would make doesn't mean it isn't a fine choice for a couple who are both on the same page about making it.

Obviously I agree with other PPs that if your husband isn't on board that is not good. [/quote]

But there's a difference between being a SAHP during those younger daycare years, and making it a permanent arrangement out of default. I don't think most spouses are resentful of those years.. It's once the kids are older or in school and SAHP does not seek to return to th workforce, even though part time hours or *something* may help. [/quote]

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