Reply to S/O: Ladies - Would you have sex more often

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The bottom line is that men, no matter what they do, cannot create libido (sex drive) in women.  If a woman is low libido, a man can buy her flowers, treat her well, do chores, take her on dates, take care of the kids, equally share all responsibilities, etc., and he MAY get sex in return, but it will stem from a place of gratitude or obligation and not from instinctual drive, and it will therefore be temporary.  The frustrating part for men is that there are just enough high drive women out there, including an artificially high concentration on these boards, that they haven't surrendered all hope that such good fortune should be theirs through their own DWs.  [/quote]
Speaking as a low libido ex-DW, I don't get the women that want the husband to do more work as being seductive.  Seductive would be touch, real and positive observations ("your husky voice is mesmerizing" for example), and noticing things you love about her in the middle of a routine activity, and more delicate touch, tiny feather kisses, whisper in ear, etc..  Please don't thing grabbing a boob is sexy.  Please don't fart where she can notice it; leave the room if you're feeling gassy.  Please don't immediately provide advice when she brings up an issue she's having; instead, listen carefully and ask questions to clarify, then ask what she's considering to solve it.  Get her hot without asking anything in return (in fact, hold back on satisfying yourself until she's begging.

All that is sexy as hell.  And my ex would not do any of it, one of many reasons he is now my ex.[/quote]

I think it has more to do with setting the stage for successful seduction. I, for one, can't turn my brain off, so if I still need to do a load of laundry for the daycare bag, make bottles, make lunches and clean the kitchen and I want to be in bed early enough to not be exhausted the next day, I'm not going to be as loose and open to sex. If half of those things are done when I walk in the door then a) i have more time, b) i'm feeling happy and grateful towards my husband, c) i am less stressed. So suddenly getting in the mood and sex is less of another thing on the list I have to do and more of something I all of a sudden have the time and energy to really enjoy. [/quote]

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