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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]

Wow. I"m so glad I have such fond memories of my grandparents, who did "babysit" us for weeks at a time. They actually liked to spend time with us. They didn't view it as "babysitting" but as spending time with their grandparents. And, they still traveled on their own to have their free time.

And, there is a medium between one night all "all week", as you are well aware. But, that would entail a discussion as to what your expectations are with your kids. Sounds rather difficult for you if you're that testy about a week with your grandchildren. You're a sad person. [/quote]

You have some really high standards for what grandparents should be expected to do with and for their grandkids.  If your grandparents wanted to do that, that's cool.  My parents get my kids from school two days a week and do fun things with them on weekends once a month or so.  Occasionally the kids will stay overnight at their place for fun.  But they don't want to watch the kids alone for weeks on end, or go on vacation with us - and that's fine. They raised their own kids and are enjoying their more limited role as grandparents.  Obviously different grandparents can make different reasonable choices about what they want their relationship with their families to be, and that is fine.[/quote]

Please read my post again.  Those are not my expectations but my experiences.

I actually don't think it's "fine." This is family.  And, I don't get grandparents who don't feel the need to be with their grandchildren twice a year and view any extended care of more than a couple of days a nuisance (your situation sounds wonderful and I would not feel as strongly about a vacation if that were the situation; that is not OP's situation).  Likewise for those that view their "job" of parenting over. I find it sad and a little pathetic.  But, nevertheless, if that is how the grandparents feel, then OP should have a conversation with the GP's to discuss expectations of their involvement on a vacation so that everyone is on the same page as to what is expected of the GP's involvement (and if that's none, that's up to them).

OP, if even after that discussion they are unwilling to vacation with you, then there is not much you can do.

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I think there can be a lot more to it than this - you've simplified this way down and frankly we've only heard OP's side of the story.  I thought my in-laws were like OP's parents.  Visited once a year while taking three exotic vacations a year.  As the kids got older, we realized they were a bit scared and overwhelmed of taking care of babies, particularly since they didn't want to do it "wrong" and didn't always know all the "rules."  They also found it completely exhausting - which is allowed - we also find it exhausting and we are 30 years younger and have to do it ...

Now that the kids are older they are wonderful engaged grandparents.  We still only see them once or twice a year but when we do the time with the kids is wonderful.  That doesn't mean they babysit much - they still find that overwhelming and frankly they don't owe anyone babysitting as you claim.  But they make the best of the time spent with the kids and the kids adore them.  I am fine with this and I am so grateful my children have a good relationship with them.  It's not for you or anyone else to decide how anyone interacts with their grandkids - people do what they can and that doesn't make them bad people.  More importantly, kids are very smart and it won't be long before they see things for what they are - neglectful grandparents vs. over demanding parents (or both).  Let them navigate this relationship on their own.[/quote]

PS: my kids relationship with my parents is more like what you describe you had with yours.  And honestly that is wonderful too - we are grateful for it.  But I don't see a meaningful difference between how close the kids are to either set of grandparents or how excited they are to see them/how much they enjoy their time with them.  It's not about quantity of time and it's not about babysitting.  It's about quality.  And OP's kids are still too young to determine where that is going to go (i.e.: sitting around the house when visiting is fine if the grandparents are playing with and enjoying the kids - and if they are ignoring them completely - well the kids will see that for what it is very soon).[/quote]

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