Reply to Wife nearly died. Angry with underwhelming response from her family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The SIL sending a Xmas list is ridiculous if she understood the seriousness  of the situation, but if they live a long distance away and all work themselves, I am not 100% sure what exactly they could do for you in terms of helping you with childcare, etc. [/quote]

Well, in my family, when one of the siblings had a stroke, the other two siblings + mother dropped everything, flew across the world, and as a team of three rotated between caring for the niece & nephew - getting them to school and trying to keep their routine normal, caring for the home & pets, and being at the hospital day in & day out to care for the fallen brother + spouse. They stayed for three weeks in total. That's what I would consider as normal. If my brother has a stroke, it'd take something like cancer to keep me from flying out to help. [/quote]

I don't know how I could just drop everything and leave my own kids/jobs/pets to fly across the country to take care of someone else's kids/pets/house (and them) for 3 solid weeks.

It is wonderful that you were all able to do that but honestly that just isn't possible for most people.  [/quote]

Np, but when my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and needed hospice, I flew to the other side of the country and took 3 weeks off to care for him until he died. Grandma also needed a lot of care as well. We're pregnant now and I won't be able to get a full 6 weeks of sick leave because of it, but it was very, very worth it to me. Dh has a high stress job and couldn't even fly in for the funeral. He just couldn't rearrange his overseas travel to be able to come on short notice. [/quote]

I think it is wonderful that you took care of your Grandpa like that but I also think that you will regret not having the full 6 weeks of maternity leave.  [/quote]

NP. Of course she'll regret it.  In an ideal world she could have both.  But she'll be able to simultaneously regret not having more time for her maternity leave and NOT regret taking that time to be with her grandpa.

I have been present for the death of 2 grandparents.  For one I cut my honeymoon short, for the other I went for a long weekend and stayed a week when it was clear it was the end, making my husband step up at the last minute to scramble to cover care for our kids.

In my entire life, those are the only 2 decisions I have made for which I have never once second guessed myself.  Do I regret that I've still never had that week in Greece? Of course. Would I ever go back and change my decision in order to get it? No, not once in a million chances.[/quote]

Yeah, but we're talking about missing days (weeks) with your newborn vs. being able to go on a trip.  I personally would take those days with my newborns over Greece any day.  [/quote]

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