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Reply to "I'm ashamed of my husband."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find plenty of fault in OP's dilemma, but is it really too much to expect a married man or woman to dress well, stay in shape, and be able to contribute to a conversation in general social setting?  [/quote]

It depends.

I have no interest in "dressing well".  I consider it a vain waste of time and money, spent in pursuit of the ignoble goal of impressing the sorts of people who are taken by frippery and who are, therefore, not worth impressing.

I also have no interest in making small talk with most people, friends excepted.  Small talk is ... small.  Uninteresting and without value.  A waste of time and energy that could be more profitably and enjoyably spent in other pursuits.

That said, as a courtesy to my wife (who sympathizes with, but does not wholly share, my views), I make an effort to dress appropriately and engage in polite chatter when required for her work or social events.

She appreciates and is content with this in light of the contributions that I make to our marriage.

Point is, "dressing well" and "socializing" are not valued by all.  Indeed, I believe that such things have no value whatsoever--they are tedious, superficial exercises with significant opportunity cost.  The equivalent of reading People magazine.

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