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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP

CAUTION - RANT ALERT !

Woah, what happened to this thread!! I'm asking for perspective when my kids tell me they're lonely, feeling left out as they get invited to few play dates, and I'm see little reciprocity from others to host.... then the conversation turns into a sex centered debate on morality and maturity. It pisses me off that this is where minds go because I'm and SAHD posting, that gender makes a difference in non-sexual situations. Not that I'm ignorant, I know to be a total gentleman and careful to notice anything coming at me too.

I'm definitely NOT, "jonesing for alone time with moms" as someone phrased it. It's heartening to see both side equally represented and the immature sex-obsessed sociapaths are in a minority. It's just more stereotypes, the creepy homewrecker SAHD who can't keep it in his pants, home alone-wives who can resist throwing themselves at the nearest guy, the melodrama of marriages being threatened by the wife having infrequent time with a male... good grief!! I have to assume, those who think like that are immature, have issues, aren't fully grown up or undeveloped people themselves.

Sadly it may be true, that perspective is part of what I have been seeing all these years. While I'm not going to be missing out on spending time with anyone who thinks like that... but I won't accept that is a reason for my kids to be sidelined.

My new goal is host as many play dates as it takes for my kids not to feel excluded.[/quote]

OP, unfortunately, it doesn't matter what your intent it.  It's the appearance of impropriety that most likely keeps people away.  It's sad, but it's a fact of life.  For some people, just the appearance of infidelity on the part of their spouse is enough to derail a career (think command position military officers).

Have you had any luck with group activates instead of one on one play dates?[/quote]

As toddlers, the DCs have done group activities, playgrounds, and while the kids had a blast I was always the lone dad and was shunned and ignored once there were two moms there.  One time, a nanny that didn't recognize me (with sincere professional concern) asked me which kid was mine. Ouch! Now, with both DCs school age, it's the same treatment at parties pick-up/drop, or school events. At least there I see the husbands who certainly keep me at a distance too.

Socially, it's been torture for me. For the kids the advantage of having me, as an involved parent available, has been amazing and that makes it all worthwhile.

[/quote]

I'm sorry for that.  I'm a working mom, so I rarely (ok, never) do playdates, but I'd totally talk to you at the playground or whatever while our kids play.  I wouldn't come to your house, though, sorry.[/quote]

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