Reply to Why do you call it "spanking" when it is "hitting"?

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Reply to "Why do you call it "spanking" when it is "hitting"?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]While I'm sure that all of you spankers are 100% in control of your emotions and use other discipline methods in your home, that has not been true of the vast majority of people I have personally observed punishing their children by striking them. What I have seen, in public and among the people I grew up around, ranged between frustrated parents with few parenting skills hitting a child on the hand, head or bottom because the child was whining/crying/not listening/other infraction unrelated to safety and parents saying things like "When we get home, you'll choose a belt" to children who had committed more serious infractions. In all cases, the public spanking or public threat of private spanking was not immediately followed by the family leaving the public situation. Mostly they just stick around at the BBQ or wherever and the child's behavior does not actually change.

So while I suppose I can understand what you guys are saying about calm, rational spanks and only doing it in very serious circumstances, that has not been my observation of how this technique is used.[/quote]

Those are all fair points. "Choose a belt"??? OMG. But surely you can see where selection bias is at play here. [/quote]

I absolutely can, but I am also absolutely sure that I am not the only one who has had these experiences, which were common in the part of the country where I grew up.  I can tell you from experience that the things many of you are saying about spanking being a punishment of last resort are not true for many people who spank. People who are pro-spanking should absolutely consider that their calm, rational spanks are not the only way that the technique is practiced, and that for some people, a hard line of non-violence is the only answer to that tension. [/quote] 
Of course it's not the only way that it's practiced. Nobody suggested that everyone does it the proper way. Why would that mean that nobody should ever spank? That is not a logical conclusion to to reach.[/quote]

PP here. I think that logic works both ways. [b]It is difficult for me to imagine how one teaches a child that it's not okay to hit and also use spanking to discipline that child[/b], for example. If you want to calmly and lovingly strike your child to punish them for breaking a rule (however you define that), that is your parenting decision. It is not something that I would do, and if we were socializing and you did this in front of me, I would be a lot less interested in developing a closer friendship with you. I understand that a lot of people think that's overly judgmental, but everyone has things that they are not willing to compromise on. I'm sure that you have some as well.[/quote]

It may be difficult for you to imagine, but children understand a lot more than you apparently give them credit for. [/quote]

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