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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The reason we ugly girls fight the "you're just a different kind of pretty" is twofold.

1) While beauty is subjective to a certain extent, there is 100% an agreed-upon objective list of physical attricbutes required to be a conventionally-attractive women in the US in 2015.  That is a fact.  It is also a fact that those who adhere to these conventional standards of beauty recieve preferential treatment.  [b]When you tell me that I would be attractive if I only put wnough effort in, you are telling me that all the looks-based discrimination I have dealt with was my fault because I didn't work hard enough on my appearance.  That is sexist bullshit.  I should not have to spend a lot of time and money on my appearance in order to be treated like a person.[/b]

2) When I say that I am not pretty, I am not telling you that I have no worth as a person, only that I do not possess a specific attribute and that I lack the priviledge that accompanies that specific attribute, and an attribute that SHOULD carry almost no weight over my overall worth, given how subject and liable to change that attribute is.  When you insist that I AM pretty and that stating that I am ugly implies that I have low-self-worth, you are perpetuating a belief that my worth is IN ANY WAY related to my physical appearance.  It is not and should not be related.  Do not try to impose you belief that I cannot have high-self-worth AND be ugly.[/quote]
Give me a break!

1) No one is denying there is looks discrimination. I'm an AA woman, so I get it 2-fold.
That's like me saying that because I'm black and there are a number of people who agree that black people are inferior, I need to buy into that bullshit and say I agree that I am inferior, but hey I have some other good qualities. You can miss me with that b.s.

2) I don't think anyone is saying that is your fault that you are not pretty. Folks are saying that sometimes there are things you can do to make yourself feel better about your looks. Cause if you did not have "ANY" feelings about how you look, you would not have even put enough effort into categorizing yourself as "ugly"

3) Exactly who is telling you that feeling good about ALL of who you are, including how you look, is anyway minimizing any other qualities you may possess? I am not defined by my looks, my smarts, or any other singular quality. [b]I am the sum of my parts and I damn sure want to feel good about most of them, and the ones that need work to feel better about, I hope I am willing to put in the work.[/b]

4) It's almost as if a number of the posters have become so invested in their identity as "ugly", that they cannot bear for someone to challenge it. As if, they have made that a central part of their identity and don't want to dare to see themselves any different in that particular category.

[/quote]

There it is again... the overwhelming imperative that if a woman isn't pretty, she should "work on it" until she is pretty and that's it not enough to be satisfied with your other good qualities.

It's crazy that our society demands that women pursue "pretty" when it doesn't demand that women pursue smart or kind or power or athleticism or any other damn thing.  The most important thing is that women are pretty and if they aren't, that they make themselves pretty. [/quote]
You missed every damn point I was making --  so you are bound and determined to make me mean that I am saying that you should try to look like Halle Berry.
You missed everything I said about being smart and funny, etc. and feeling good about all of who I am. You missed the entire analogy about discrimination...
There is no damn where that I said that you should "pursue" pretty. Everything I said was about having a positive perception about your looks and all the parts of you.
For the record, NO , I am not Halle Berry or Brooklyn Decker, but I damn sure am not going to feel ugly or label myself as such, especially since so many seem to think that gives them some moral superiority. [/quote]

No one asked you to feel ugly or label yourself ugly.  You, on the other hand, have no problem engaging your moral superiority to tell other people how to feel and act.[/quote]
You know what -- you are right -- it is well within your right to feel ugly. Have at it. I apologize for trying to share a different perspective.[/quote]

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