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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you again, from OP, for your input and advice. I have an individual therapy appointment tomorrow and I am literally counting down the minutes. I feel so alone in all of this and I am desperate for someone to talk to. This forum is my only outlet right now.  I don't think I can tell family or friends; to me it feels like a horrible secret I don't want anyone to know. I'm waiting to hear back from my EAP about a marriage counselor who specializes in infidelity. I've been warned it may take weeks. In the meantime, I can put my energy into my own therapy. My husband is seeking an individual therapist as well.

I've decided to spend the weekend away from my spouse and our home. I do not feel comfortable or happy being in our home right now. It was once a big source of pride and comfort and what I looked forward to after a long day of work, but all week I have stayed at work as late as I could in order to spend as little time at home and with my husband as possible. The idea of a wide open weekend at home, either with him just down the hall or avoiding one another would be dreadful. I ordered some books on infidelity and will spend the weekend at a hotel alone, reading, absorbing, thinking. I suggested he spend the weekend at home doing some serious soul searching. I'll be away on business for most of next week. I am looking forward to it and am thinking this might be a good time to for us each to sit with our feelings without interacting. Selfishly, I want him to feel physically alone. I feel alone and hollow inside and out - the least he can do is experience being alone in an empty house and knowing his wife is so ashamed of him and their marriage that she couldn't stand the idea of being in the same house as him. I want him to think about all he has done and how deeply he has hurt me, how drained and used I feel, and how he has wrecked my self esteem and taken from me the security and safety I once had. Perhaps it will provide him more clarity in deciding if he is sad to be in that situation and truly wants to correct it or excited by the freedom it affords him.
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This is overly dramatic and unnecessary.  Stop acting like this ams creating problems in your life.  [/quote]

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