Reply to My wife reacts with hostility when I ask for more sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]What your suggesting is essentially infrequent trial-and-error by one partner without guidance from the other. You gave us "affection, touching, cuddling, etc" as the keys to your vagina[/quote]

no - what I'm suggesting is that you think of her body as more than just her vagina.  [/quote]

That's a pretty nebulous instruction.  Again- most guys would appreciate "please do this more..." and they should be willing to do it.  You're basically asking a guy to read her mind in regards to specific actions.

Is it really that hard to acknowledge that a woman bears some responsibility for expressly stating what gets her going?[/quote]

I think you're missing the point here. You're still thinking of it in terms of what will turn her on and get her off, and thus get you more sex -- so you're still focused on the vagina. You need to focus on her as a person, and for many women, that includes showing affection that has nothing to do with sex. I'm there with my husband right now, I've explicitly asked him for more physical affection that has nothing to do with sex. What I get instead is physical affection, and then the expectation that we'll have sex that night. If my husband gives me a hug when he gets home from work or holds my hand while we watch tv, I know he'll be looking for sex later. Which means I really don't enjoy the physical affection he's giving me, because it comes with demands and expectations rather than being freely given because of how it makes me feel.[/quote]

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