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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Arrive on time, but with full stomachs and a really appealing dessert--enough for an army.

Fill your stomachs ahead of time in a way that is special and festive to you--make a special breakfast/brunch/lunch at home, go out, whatever.

[/quote]

OP here.  I like this!

I talked to DH.  He is too scared to NOT show up at all, or to miss their "dinner" (non-dinner).  He has not admitted his fears; but is finally seeing their evil patterns.  It only took decades, so I am optimistic (sarcasm).  He has agreed to go to brunch that day, so that is some progress.  He has agreed to talk to her - though I suggested other means.  As I mentioned, the IL are absolute masters and probably the originators of feigning oblivious.  It is really all they do.  Which is a shame, because they really miss out on life (one can tell from their attitudes).

I don't want it to be my idea.  I want him to see what they do, and call them on it.  He's a grown man, I can't make him do anything.  Worst case, scenario, they go and I stay.  The BILs have done this TONS of holidays - so I know they know exactly what is going on.  It seems very male of them (DH included) not to call them on it.  I don't usually see men say something.  My dad was the opposite, so I am surprised.  Have men become less outspoken, in "trying to keep (a perceived) peace"?

I am more than a little concerned about the troll PP (Mil, is that you????) who sees clear abuses I am describing, yet continues to prod and poke.  Much like a troll.  Maybe I will report her.  [/quote]

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