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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again, my mortgage is actually more like 30% take home after taxes, maxing retirement, healthcare, and our car payment (I forgot it automatically goes into a separate credit union account).  We barely take any deductions, so we'll be getting around 12k back on taxes this year, so this also lowers our take home pay. We have a 3 bedroom house, outside the beltway in NoVa, that is about 30-40 min. to both our jobs.  We stretched a bit to be in a good school district because that was really important to us.

I wasn't trying to stir a debate about my housing.  I truly just wanted helpful advice/perspective from other families in the area who make it work with a middle class income.

I love the ideas about toys off Craigslist, signing up for a babysitting sharing service, bulking up on diapers when they are on sale, etc.  Also, a lot of PPs have pointed out that weekend activities change once you have kids.  I imagine we'll be spending more time at home, ordering pizza, going to the park, etc. as opposed to going to concerts and trying new restaurants.  In-home daycare might be worth researching for us or perhaps daycare in the burbs will be cheaper than what my friends closer-in pay.

I'm glad to know there are others out there who make things work in order to have kids![/quote]

[b]We have a similar HHI and mortgage (in the suburbs). We're really happy with our 2 yo DS's 1300/mo daycare center. We have one car payment, minimal student loans, and moderate commuting costs. We max out retirement, budget every dollar, and some months we pull from savings for unexpected expenses; our annual bonuses go back to savings to balance that out. Something I want to point about about all the money-saving tips and tricks: you need TIME to use them which - more so than even money - is going to be a precious resource once you have a baby. When you factor in daycare drop-off/pick-up into your commuting time, plus the demands of your career on top of caring for an infant in the evenings, you will need weekends to catch up on household stuff you don't have time for during the week. DCUMs advice on this point is usually "OUTSOURCE", but what if you can't afford that? I don't mean to be doom and gloom, but so often on these boards the question is about finances and the answer comes in the form of a barrage of cost-cutting tips. What you need to examine and prepare for is the affect of having a child on your time to accomplish things in a household where both parents work full-time. Who will be responsible for scouring Craigslist for a bouncer and cutting coupons? Who will organize and schedule doctors appointments, required forms, clothing and supplies for daycare? Who will make sure work clothes get to the dry cleaner and get picked up? You get the idea. We worked up a decent budget and comparison shopped before our baby was born, and we felt financially prepared even though our salaries are on the low average side for the area. Our rude awakening came when we were both exhausted, both had work demands, and both felt the other needed to do more to keep our household up and running. We've worked it out and I can truly say even though our finances are tight, we're happy. But I do wish someone had urged me to do more planning from a time and logistics perspective rather than a financial one.[/b][/quote]

This may be the best advice I've ever read on DCUM.  This is it right here.[/quote]

How does it relate to OP's question?[/quote]

If she's afraid she can't even handle the money sacrifices, then she needs to have her eyes wide open about the other parenting sacrifices that are even harder to adjust to.[/quote]

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