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[quote=Anonymous]I find this topic so fascinating.  I was recently discussing the subject of family help with my younger sister- neither of us have kids yet, but she lives in the same city as my parents, whereas DH and I live away from both my parents and ILs.

She 100% expects my mom to be the primary babysitter for her future kids.  My mom still works herself, so depending on when sis plans on having these kids (errr, convinces her immature boyfriend that it's time to get married) my mom is likely to either still be working or newly retired.  Who knows, she may want something to do, but she also does a lot for my grandma (who's in a retirement community).  But the assumption on my sister's part was interesting to me.  But it may just be because I don't even remotely have that option that it is foreign to me.

FWIW, when our mom was pregnant with me, her mom told her straight up not to expect her to be my babysitter.  My mom still feels slighted by this (and somehow my sis feels slighted by association, lol) but I completely understand why my gram felt that way: 1) my mom was the oldest of five kids, 2) her youngest brother was 10 when I was born, 3) therefore gram was still raising kids herself!! Why would she want to take on a baby too.  I love my gram and have always had a good relationship with her, and she did many things for us over the years (my mom SAH upon having my sis a couple years later).  And when circumstances changed years later and my grandfather passed away, she did become the primary sitter for my then newborn cousin, and confessed not long ago how much that helped to fill the void.  But to this day, my mom still feels slighted that my gram did this for my aunt and not her!  So I suppose my sis just assumes my mom will do for her what she didn't get from her own mother.[/quote]

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