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[quote=Anonymous]I think if someone - even a middle schooler with a poorly developed sense of reason and consequences - stayed under my roof and proceeded to do shit to my kid while she was asleep, my GOD, I would be pissed.

This thread has become a magnet for gaslighters, since apparently it must be all OP's and the OP's daughter's fault for reacting in any way that would make the other kids or parents feel uncomfortable.  Really, that's just messed up.   I don't care if you call it a prank, or bullying, or a joke, you do not go into someone's house and mess with them while they're asleep.  What happened to OP's daughter is weirdly hostile and creepy.  I have every right to go to sleep in my bed in my own house and feel secure that people aren't going to physically mess with me or my kids.  This is why people buy alarm systems, this is why there are multi-page threads on "should I answer the door at night if I'm not expecting anyone", and this is why Gavin de Becker is recommended all over these forums.

If someone else other than a middle school-aged mean girl did this, the PPs would be up in arms, if they had any sense.  Why do the girls who come over as guests, ostensibly as friends of OP's kid, get a pass?  I can't imagine that the posters who tell OP that she's overreacting would handle this calmly if it were their own child.

And you know what?  The OP handled this very reasonably under the circumstances.  I don't see anything wrong with emailing at 3 am.  She didn't call the kids' parents.  She didn't drop the girls off at their own houses at 3 am, as I would have been tempted to do.  I let my kids fight their own battles for the most part, but if someone messes with them physically when they are completely vulnerable (like asleep), I can and will intervene.  If it happens in my own house?  Yes, I'm going to say something, and it's too bad if it makes someone uncomfortable.

It's interesting that the big boogeyman is OMG!  OP's kid might be teased at school.  Oh yes, let's never say anything when other kids step over the line lest our own kids be teased at school.  [/quote]

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