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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would not allow him to take our children.  I understand other people are okay with it but I would never allow my kids to be in an environment where discrimination against women and girls is supported.  The church allows the prohibition of altar girls and that alone would be enough for me. My DDs are just as worthy as my DSs. [/quote]

+10000000000

My DH and I were both raises Catholic and turned away from the Church for these and other reasons.  I miss the rituals more than he does, but I'd never go back, and I would have a really hard time staying married to someone who did, since it would reflect a fundamental shift in his values.  I never want my son to worship in a Church that raises men above women (except for a mythical pure virgin venerated above all except God).[/quote]

My ex-wife was a Catholic and the priest damn near refused to marry us because I laughed and then refused to convert when he asked when I'd be converting.  I doubled down and said there was no way in hell I was going to raise children as Catholics.  I let him know I'd never interfere with my wife's participation but that if children were raised in any church it would be the Episcopal (pope-free catholic lite) and they'd be free to make up their own minds at 18 when they were 'adults' and capable of independent critical thinking.  Fortunately, having children was not an issue (we were infertile).  Real Catholics take it pretty seriously, but we were able to reach reasonable adult compromises.  Religion was never an issue for us (I was raised episcopal but am basically an atheist).

I later dated a girl from a family of talibangelical crazies - damn near never went to church, but always had stupid TeeeVeee preachers/fleecers on.  I was a complete moron for not recognizing this made us fundamentally imcompatible.   My GF had a vague, generally ill-informed (made up as she went along) notion of faith and theology.  This is fine - in fact, all religion is the same in reality, some have just been around longer and have acquired legitimacy by virtue of longevity - we are witnessing the LDS make the transition right now from quack cult to "real religion" but it's no different from Scientology or Raelism.  But what wasn't fine was that this represented a HUGE difference in our values and underlying way of seeing the world.  It wasn't that we had arguments over transubstantiation or something - she had no clue what those things were - but that our whole way of seeing the world was in conflict.

Yes, religion is and should be a dealbreaker - if you have strong convictions (spiritual, religious or otherwise), either of you, which are in conflict with the other, then you should just back away.  OP can't really do that now, but so long as hubby isn't shoving it down your throat, just make him balance his alone time with some alone time for you.    I think the OP is less pissed about Catholic theology and dogma (and however repressive/regressive it is/isn't) than about her hubby using this as a "socially acceptable" excuse to basically skip out for a huge chunk of Sunday and ditch her with the kids.[/quote]

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