Reply to Wife and I don't see eye-to-eye on money

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]*I want to add that this does not relate to child support which actually is independent of marital status.  I am speaking solely of alimony/palimony.

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okay. i am not a lawyer (i am a psychologist), and i can see that the law, as you present it, might be unjust (i often thought that it was kind of unfair to men that women could choose to abort or not abort but men must support children they didn't want/have to assent to abortions they don't agree to).

however: for most people, in most marriages, law is irrelevant. when i got married, i had not clue of the legal implications of marriage. to be honest, i still have only a vague idea - despite having a phd and a father who was an attorney. i understand that there exists a legal reality (laws on the books) that can be very important, but most people, most of the time - and especially in relationships - operate in a psychological reality that is only loosely related to laws. it is the prominent role that finances and, now, law, play in your decision-making re: your relationship that is very off-putting.

this is how i knew you were the "open relationship" guy. here again, in a different sphere, you are trying to optimize relationship dynamics within some kind of a formal framework (economics, law). but that is not only not possible, it is positively harmful. those decisions are not meant to be made that way. i don't have time to explain exactly why, but it boils down to the fact that you are being overly precise at the expense of utilizing more information.[/quote]

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