Reply to I want my husband to reimburse me for half the income I lost during maternity leave

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Reply to "I want my husband to reimburse me for half the income I lost during maternity leave"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did you bother getting married and having a kid?  You're already acting like you are divorced and dividing childcare expenses.  Oh well, good getting practice now since you are going to end up that way.[/quote]

OP, why did you bother to have a kid with another human being instead of just using a sperm donor?  You're acting like you expect the other person to have an equal child-raising burden in terms of both time and money .....  Most of the rest of the women in our society accept that they must do the lion's share of the work when it comes to raising children.  In fact, most of them take pride in it and think that it's their biological destiny to do this and that simply because of biology they are better at it than men.  If everyone else thinks that way, you should too.  You should be grateful that you are married even though despite the Potemkin village of your marriage "partnership" you are solo-parenting.  When your husband pays for "incidentals" like dinner out or "babysits", you can be surprised and thankful and happy, because if you were really a single mom, no one would be buying you dinner, bringing you flowers, buying you "push presents" and you wouldn't have free babysitting.   [/quote]

I don't think this is a question about equality it is a question about how the dynamic works when finances are separated to such a degree that reimbursing someone for doing something for the good of the family becomes an issue.  My partner stays at home with our children because we are convinced it is a major advantage to have a stay at home parent of his credentials.  For me to open up the check-book if we kept separate ones and say a full time nanny would cost me X amount, you are responsible for half, so here is .5X would be demeaning to him and what he brings to the table.   It would also be insulting to our relationship.

Most of us are having a problem getting our heads around the OPs position because it is on an entirely different financial dynamic then we are used to - it has little to do with the role of one parent or the other or some other sexist position.  Simply put while I can understand logically the OPs financial dynamic as explained I cannot convince myself how it works in a relationship that involves children and a long-term commitment to each other and the relationship.  [/quote]

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