Reply to NYT: professional moms who opted out of work after kids are now opting back in

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Reply to "NYT: professional moms who opted out of work after kids are now opting back in"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Question.

If your husbands wanted to be SAHD and you work, what would be your responses?

Would you be ok with it only if he made less money than you?  if so, why?

Do you think only women should be stay-at-home?  if so why?[/quote]

My husband SAH for 2 years when our kid was young. I was thrilled. He also enjoyed it, though of course it wasn't always easy -- and luckily enough he was able to find a job and go back to work, though if he ever wanted to SAH again, I'd be fine with it.

He currently makes much less money than me. I don't care. Why don't I care? I don't know -- I guess I just don't equate salary with someone's worth as a human being and partner in life. If the roles were switched and I made less money than him, I don't think he would care either. It's not a competition!

Obviously, I don't think only women should SAH. Having seen my husband with my kid, I don't think that mothers have some exclusive hold over bonding or whatever with their kid, or that there is something magic about me that means that I and only I am the most fit to nurture and raise my child.  I agree with the PP who said that the focus should be on what is best for the kids-- but I don't think that this necessarily means that the mother needs to stay at home, or even that the father needs to stay at home -- just that in general there needs to be more structural support for families so that they are not so stretched. How about good public schools, state-supported creches like they have in France, state-supported "mother's helpers" in the first few months, stipends or subsidies for child care, etc. I don't think kids suffer from having two working parents -- but I do think they suffer from having one or both parents who are constantly overworked, stressed-out, and worried about money even though they work! [/quote]

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