Reply to If you grew up poor...

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "If you grew up poor..."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Free lunch vouchers, that I wouldn't use. 
Dish detergent thinned down with water as shampoo - certainly no conditioner 
no money for personal things like deodorant 
no laundry detergent, so hand washing clothing with soap, when we had it, or just water, and hoping the sweat stink wouldn't linger too much when I was about 11 
being "the smelly kid" 
never being taken to the dentist. not even once - went for the first time at age 24. No cavities! But I need valium to so much as sit in the chair.  
government cheese 
food stamps 
eating spam
not eating 
the domestic abuse next door 
the domestic abuse when my mom was dating 
getting beat up as the only white girl in the projects 
thinking my dad (divorced parents) who was working class, tops, was "rich" (and he was, by comparison) 
being "hood rich" when the child support check came 
knowing my mom spent his child support (which was next to nothing) on cigarettes and of all things, bingo 
any birthday money I ever got was "borrowed" (without permission) and not returned 
being surrounded by poverty (much worse than we had it) 
seeing a lot, a LOT of drug use as a child 
child abuse was rampant. I was abused and neglected, my sibs were abused and neglected, [b]and we never knew it, because EVERYONE around us parented that way.[/b] 
memories of being held with my arm behind my back while my mom wacked indiscriminately at my back and shoulders and head with her other hand, a lit cig hanging from her mouth 
memories of watching the same thing happen to my younger brothers 
severing ties with my mom when i was 17
renewing them around 25
years of giving my mom money
severing ties again around 32 when i'd had enough 
renewing them when I was about 36, with healthier boundaries 
insecurity 
making up lies about my childhood, "vacations" we took, etc 
pretending that i knew how to swim to try out for swim team - and a swim coach who not only let me "make it" but taught me how to swim (in 6th grade) 
Being "grounded" and not allowed to go to swim-team practice for sassing my mom
not being allowed to try out the next year because I needed to babysit my brothers 
joining the team again in high school 
my first time running away when my mom told me no more swim team for some type of punishment 
A grandma who always believed in me (bless her) 
police station, telling them about the swim team, some cop saying child and family services 
screaming, beatings, but no more swim team interference
partial scholarship for swimming 
working 60 hours a week, going to college full time 
lying about internships I supposedly had (no time!) in order to get my first job  
making up lies about my first job to get my second job 
turning "making up lies" into "reinventing myself"
hard work 
not looking back 
struggling with materialism now, wanting to buy ALL THE THINGS now that I can, and forcing myself to balance providing for my children with making them understand the value of a dollar 
wanting to help other poor kids, not always doing it

The most damaging thing was the bolded part. You grow up thinking that is normal. I can see how the cycle perpetuates itself. This thread has inspired me to get involved, again, in volunteering with children who are where I once was. It is hard for me, to face the past so directly, but these kids need a leg up.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics