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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "Not potty-trained at 3..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] All I am saying is that parents should take responsibility. My child used a sippy cup at home until age 4, which I think is way too long. I fully acknowledge that it was because I allowed it, and not because she was not "showing signs of readiness" to give it up. She probably would have drunk from that thing on the couch happily until 4th grade. It was my job as her mother to throw it away. So, I take full responsibility. If someone else had been in charge, maybe she would have given it up at age 2. JUST LIKE IF I WERE IN CHARGE, YOUR KID WOULD BE POTTY TRAINED WELL BEFORE THREE. I am saying your kid is fine and was ready at 2. IT'S YOU, and YOUR DECISION to wait. If you feel ok about that, great. But STOP BLAMING IT ON YOUR KID. [/quote] Well if I WERE IN CHARGE (is that enough caps?) of you growing up, you wouldn't be starting stupid threads now. I want your parents to take full responsibility for it. They should stop blaming your stupidity and judgmental nature on you. [/quote] Probably. At least you can see that there is a relationship between parenting and behavior now. Your child [b]learns to use the toilet when you teach him[/b]. Your child, with a different mother, would not take so long to learn this simple skill. There are probably other things he will learn earlier than others because he has you as a mother. If you teach him to read at 3, should we just say he miraculously figured it out, or would you like the credit? See what I'm getting at??[/quote] If I teach my child to read at 3, I wouldn't say "my child learns to read when I teach him," since that could mean that he could have read at eight months old, and that's obviously bullshit. You could have picked a better example since even in this universe of highly educated parents some kids read at 3, and some at 6, with no difference in degree of parental involvement. [/quote] Typically at 3, an adult has to be involved in the learning to read process. It is not that usual for the child to just pick up reading without a lot of exposure to it, letters, etc, either by a parent or by another childcare provider. Obviously with a six year old, there is more exposure over time and more neurological development, such that the child learns more quickly with less direction if you wait to start until 6 with the reading. Saying a child can be potty trained at 8 months is a straw man. I am talking about a 2 year old. You have to actually teach them to use the bathroom in the toilet. Of course, if you wait until 3.5 or 4, just like if you wait to teach a child to read until much later, say even 7, it is a different process, and the child has already "learned" most of it from being exposed to other children doing it, talking about it, etc. I do not think it is necessarily a good thing to teach a 3 year old to read for reasons not relevant to this thread. I am just explaining that for most younger children, there is a teaching element (if your child is Albert Einstein and miraculously started reading without your even teaching him the alphabet, great!) to reading, and there is a teaching element to potty training. Just because the child does not readily poop in the toilet in the first 15 minutes, or first day of teaching, it does not mean he is not ready to learn to do it. Just as, when you teach a child his ABCs, you do not expect him to read a full sentence that week. If you want to wait until the child just does things on his own, I suppose that would mean delaying a whole lot of things that you might otherwise teach him how to do. It's not like crawling/walking, they don't just wake up one day and do it, unless of course they are 4 and finally decide they are too embarrassed to poop in their diaper anymore. [/quote] You still haven't explained why it is better to force-train the child to read/use the potty vis-a-vis waiting until they are ready to learn it quickly. When you compare two proficient 10-year old readers, can you tell which one of them started to read at 3 and which one at 6? When you see two 10-year old boys, can you tell which one of them pooped in the potty at 2 vs. 3 years of age? If yes, how? If not, why do you care? The reading example, as I mentioned already, does not work. You will meet multiple parents of two children who put the same amount of effort into both, yet they started to read at different ages, simply due to individual differences. Again, you could have picked a better example. Benefits of reading don't ever stop growing as there isn't such a thing as a total mastery of reading - one can always read more books. But with potty training, there actually is an upper limit of mastery of skill, unless you want to argue that being able to wipe with 2 wipes vs. 4 is better. So why make a huge fuss over something everyone learns to do eventually? I get that you want to feel good about yourself, we all do. But using your kids's bums to do it? Really?[/quote]
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