Reply to Buying a first home - did you get the downpayment from your family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP--I was you.  My parents felt like we were adults and didn't need that kind of help.  Then they sort loudly wondered how this and that high school friend (bethesda area) could afford a house in Bethesda or Potomac or Chevy Chase on a teacher's salary or equivalent.  My siblings and I would point out that their parents had given them the down payment or outright bought the houses.  It took about a decade for my parents to acknowledge [b]that maybe their course hadn't actually taught us any valuable lessons [/b]as they had to drive very long distances to see us and their grandchildren.  I just think some parents are different and in my case, my parents think that being self-sufficient is very important.  I actually agree but in this area, in this era, parents no longer cut kids off after high school or college.  Some kids have parents paying for houses, cars, grandchildren's daycare/private school until the parents die.  For parents who have that mind frame, the issue isn't about self-sufficiency, it is about helping out their kids and giving them every advantage.  Having been raised by the "self-sufficiency is important" parents, I will be the other type if I can.  THat is the lesson I learned.  You can do it--save up, buy what you can in a good area and just plan to move later.

ALso, I bought a SFH at 28 by myself so I agree with some of the other posters who note that you aren't "young."[/quote]

This sounds very immature and whiny.  I do sort of get the 'circle of life' argument that the PP made and definitely see grandparents wanting their grandchildren closer and helping with that.  But you seriously don't see any benefit in teaching your kids to be self-sufficient?  What if your parents didn't value self-sufficiency and your parents (like most) didn't have the money to help you?  Isn't better that you are self-sufficient?

My husband and I have this debate all the time.  We've worked hard, saved, purchased our own first house at 25 and our second at 28.  My brother has done nothing - never worked ever, never graduated from college.  My parents have funded everything for him including a nicer apartment than we ever had and take hmi on vacations all the time.  It's disheartening and I admit that I feel jealous sometimes.  But then I talk to him and as he's getting older (he's now 30), he's less and less happy with the situation.  It was fun to have everything paid for when you're 21.  Not so cute and fun when you're 30 and all your friends are settling down, moving up in their careers, etc, and you have nothing that is your own.[/quote]

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