Reply to Homework that is busywork - does anyone else just say no?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Sorry, this doesn't make sense.  Making sense may have been taught with the homework you missed as a kid..[/quote]

Let me help you understand it.  You claim that not doing homework will cause my elementary school aged child to “grow up feeling sheltered, entitled, questioning everything, and are usually annoying to others” and homework teaches one ‘sense’.  You have latched onto homework completion as if it is the only thing guiding a young child’s positive development and if the child doesn’t do the homework the child will grow up with horrible personality traits and lacking sense.  That is extreme thinking and indicates you have a lot of anxiety regarding homework completion – who wants their child to grow up with all those horrible personality traits that you and PPs have noted (or maybe it’s just you)?!  So, of course, homework must be done so your child can avoid that fate.

The problem is that this kind of thinking isn’t grounded in reality or fact.  It’s grounded in fear.  And, unless you learn to interrupt those thoughts, they’re self-reinforcing.  Children will not suffer all these negative consequences you’re imagining if they don’t do homework.  They won’t.  Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you stop these extreme thoughts and overcome your fears regarding uncompleted homework.  If you post what area you live, I’m sure people can provide recommendations for good CPT therapists or you can start a new post.  It may be hard but you don't have to have to suffer with that kind of thinking.  Help is available.[/quote]

You've completely misunderstood...it is the [b]allowing [/b]a kid to not do work assigned that is the problem.  It sends a message to the child.  (It isn't that the kid is missing the homework itself that will be an issue...ut saying "you don't have to do that" does send a message to a child.  Just like not going to a team sport game, or not abiding by a first RSVP when a better proposal comes along...all these things send messages to our kids.  I will never agree that this is the right thing to do.  I personally think it is stupid that my kids HAVE to participate in fund raisers for their sports teams.  I think Sally Foster items are stupid.  I think scout cookies/popcorn are stupid.  But I don't relay that to my kids...I suck it up and do my responsibility as well.  [/quote]

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