Reply to DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if OP's daughter was being mean or not - [b]telling someone they can't sit next to you because you are saving a seat for friends but can sit at your table is a gray area.[/b]  It's definitely not nice or welcoming.  However, I would think that it would be more appropriate for this mom to help her daughter address it than to confront OP's child directly.  This is the sort of problem that 9 year old kids can learn to handle and address, and it isn't helping the kid.  [/quote]

OP again.

I guess I wasn't clear, DD wasn't "saving" the seat.  The other children were already in the seats, including the other woman's DD.  The other child wanted to "switch" seats with one of the girls and DD said "No, she always sits there."  I agree this wasn't the nicest thing to say, and it could have been handled better, but like other PP have mentioned our school doesn't allow "seat saving".  They line up in class and sit in that order by gender, but I suppose they are allowed to switch if they wish too.[/quote]

OP I'm sorry for the gang bang on you here.  This sounds like perfectly normal 9yo girl behavior and certainly nothing that would warrant a parent saying something to her entirely out of context.  But I hope you didn't flip out or go tell the school.  I would really encourage you to talk the other mother first without making it a huge deal and just ask her to come speak to you first in the future.  If it were to become a recurring issue - her pulling your daughter aside - then I would mention it to the school.  Chalk it up to a misguided fellow parent and try to let it go.  And definitely do not bad mouth the other mom in front of your DD.  I'm sure you know all this, and I get why you were heated in your original post.  I would have been heated too at first and then come to a sensible solution, as I'm sure you did.[/quote]

No, I haven't called anyone, I wanted to know if this was acceptable behavior from the volunteer parent.  I see that it is not, which I suspected.  I just don't like the idea of a parent trying to take on the teacher role, she is not the teacher, and in my opinion had no business confronting my daughter.  I agree if she had seen DD do something dangerous, or actually see DD exhibit "bully" behavior than I wouldn't be so upset.  I guess I'm just wondering where the line is drawn with this woman?  If her DD want my DD to share her lunch, and DD doesn't oblige will she go call out my daughter for not sharing?  [/quote]

This is why I encourage you to talk to the other mom.  You don't have to be confrontational.  You can simply let her know that your DD mentioned the incident and that in the future you would prefer if she would speak with you instead of with your child if and when she has concerns.  Reassure her, if it is true (and I think it is) that you would want to know if your daughter was engaging in inappropriate behavior and that you would prefer to be the one to address these situations with her as teachable moments.  This is a totally appropriate way to handle this and will put the other mom on notice that A) you know what she did, B) you didn't appreciate how she handled it, and C) give her an opportunity to reflect on her own behavior in the situation.  Maybe she'd engage you in the future; maybe she wouldn't.  But if she did it would give you a chance to let your views on these parenting issues be known which would likely discourage her from continuing to make this a pattern.[/quote]

I went to the school today during my lunch break and bought DD some lunch.  I asked the admins who the volunteers for each class was, and got a name and number (apparently this information was sent home in the first few weeks of school, I just never received it or totally lost it).  I haven't called though, do you think calling would make it a bigger deal?

I talked to my DD's friends parents and apparently the woman didn't just confront DD but a group of girls.  DD and her two "best friends" have all been in the same Girl Scouts/Brownies troop since they were in Kindergarten, and I admit it wouldn't surprise me if they were "cliquey" but I doubt they would purposely exclude anyone.

So, we each talked to our girls about what happened and it seems that DD, and her two friends were sitting together on one side of a six sided table.  The other woman's DD was sitting on the other end, but wanted to switch with one of the other girls because she wanted to help my DD make some sort of bracelet (totally not sure why they make bracelets at lunch?) and my DD said "No, this is where [Friends name] always sit.  Could she have been kinder?  Absolutely.  Is the other woman's DD being excluded because she didn't get to switch seats like she want?  No, not really.  As many PP's mentioned, it does this girl no justice for her mother to go up to our children like this?  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics