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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are people who don’t make enough to live supposed to do? It’s a privilege to save for retirement. It really is.[/quote]

Asian American here. I was a child of immigrants. DH and I support my parents and his mom. We know many adult Asian Americans supporting their elderly parents. It is actually quite common.[/quote]

Do you feel resentful about this? Genuinely curious.[/quote]

No, I’m not resentful at all. They moved to this country and did the best they could. I always had housing and food. It isn’t like they spent frivolously and wasted money. They just never had money.

I’m surprised at Americans who seem to be able to turn their backs on their family.[/quote]

Same.  And just as bad are the ones who feel resentful.   My father died young leaving my mother with teenagers and a paid for house.  Once I had kids she babysat and wouldn’t take a dime.  She would stay at our house on weekends when my husband and I went away.  I would leave cash for her and the kids on the table but she never used it.  She would come over early before the kids got out of school and would do the laundry, make the beds. And So much more.   She’s older now and I’ll be there for her whatever it takes.

I think sometimes adults forget what their parents did for them.  Or they will pick some rough times in their childhood to use as excuses not to help.  They sleep better when they put the blame on someone else.  [/quote]

This right here. Though living out of state, my father helped out with our young kids when he could and though we had some disagreements over the years, it wasn't anything to break contact over. My sibling on the other hand kept every grudge over years, no matter how much my father helped in every imaginable way (both financially and other). Ashe got older and frailer, my sibling helped a bit, but begrudgingly - everything was a chore. I ended up just moving him in with me and took care of him until the end - it was hard, my wife and I are professionals with full/busy careers and have multiple children, but we made it work. Also, though my father had some assets, it was nowhere near enough to cover all the medical costs and auxiliary expenses. Unless your parents were complete POS's not taking care of them in their old age is shit thing to do. [/quote]

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